Day 302. The first rule of rail travel is...

I'm so glad I don't have to do this every day.

Firstly, I'm short. When I arrive at the platform I invariably end up penned in staring at the shoulders of the people in front and in need of a box to see if the train is coming.

Secondly, this is twenty-five minutes before the train is due to leave. This train is so rammed that tonight the man in the seat next to me had bicycle handles next to his ears as every inch of space was used to transport us East Anglian folk home from London.

Thirdly, it's getting chilly now and the train is either so cold we need to wear our coats, hats, scarves and gloves for the entire journey or the heaters have been turned up to eleven and we wish we'd brought vest tops, portable fans and deodorant.

Finally, too many people ignore the first rule of rail travel: no pasties, kebabs, cheeseburgers or soup; in fact no food that smells, crunches too loudly or is generally going to cause raised eyebrows and gentle tutting.

I'm so glad I don't have to do this every day.

Day 162. Breaking the no speaking rule.

On the train tonight the door on our carriage was broken, opening and closing every few seconds, which for a 90 minute journey is more than a little irritating. Ten minutes into the journey myself and the other 4 passengers in the carriage began glancing at each other, slightly uncomfortably of course, using British facial expressions to register our growing frustration. One brave figure jumped up and tried to fix it by placing his bag in the way. It didn't work. "Nice try' someone said, and the no speaking rule was broken. We looked around for something more sturdy to replace the bag, nothing, and then I remembered the sensor in the ceiling. 'How about stuffing the hole with tissue?' I suggested rummaging in my bag for a clean one. So we did. And it worked. We congratulated ourselves with a simple 'That's better' and silence was restored as we returned to our pre-teamwork activities.

Normal service has been resumed.